Beach located!

This is the photograph of the beach that i had mentioned before in my earlier post.

Sand castles are harder to build in real life

So I've found another location I need to perfect. This is actually my second attempt at the beach. I actually can't find my first attempt which was a lot better than this one. This one doesn't make sense. Take the characters out of the photograph and this is a terrible photograph (well, keep me in and it still doesn't make it much better)

Either way, there are many things wrong with this that i need to fix. on the left side (stars is left, stars is left) I'm sitting there with no towel.. it just looks wrong. Also I'm having a lot of issues trying to figure out what the character who is representing my mind should be doing, this doesn't only apply to this particular picture but to all of them. 

I'm lost and it scares me.

Either way, I've decided. The thing is, I know what I'm doing. I know what works and what doesn't so why is it so hard. So what my mind is doing is altering it's surroundings.. by constructing something using the available material, something that is essential to the space. 

Classroom = Chairs

Darkroom = Trays

Library      = Books

And so with that logic Beach = Sand.

I had thought about gathering things that would normally be found on the beach like umbrellas, lounge chairs, beach balls but i'd decided these things are not things that are essential to the area. I feel like I need to do something with the sand. Something dramatic.

Wish me luck..  X

:(

The library. I loved the symmetry of this place. Books all lined up in there little shelves, not only that but each one had a little tag with a code and they were all perfectly organized. Alphabetically and numerically. Wow..

Just walking in to this place makes me zone out, it's hard not too. These books turn into shapes, then colour and then they just become a blur of lines. I'd stack them up in towers.. use them as building blocks, because essentially that's what they are. I'll take them out of their perfect arrangement and arrange them in the way I'd want them to be, or the way I think they should be. I'm building my own reality  because this one isn't good enough for me.

Above is one of the first photographs I took of the library. Below is a more recent one.. it's not the most recent, but it's not the oldest. Somewhere in the middle just give an idea on where I'm going with this.

Lets just keep on shooting and hope I make it into the exhibition. It's not looking likely, to be honest. I'm trying though, it's just not working out. I'm not sure if i can work it out. I can't even seem to work myself out.

Darkroom Revisited

This was my first attempt at the darkroom, this was still when I was in black & white. Colour wasn't out yet. Either way I was told this was.. and I quote "crap". Ouch.. it hurt because I loved it. I loved the idea of using the darkroom. Photography is a huge part of my life and I thought it was important to include this space in my project. I thought that the darkroom is the perfect place to zone out. The darkness, the chemicals.. It happens. Either way, I was willing to fight for this one so after three more shoots I came up with this.

Evolution of the darkroom. I shot again today.. but i also feel this one needs some better lighting. Let's see what Hot and Cold have to offer.

X

Focus: Classroom

I could make a whole series of just the classroom shots.. I'm quite tempted too really.

Actually, I'm lying. I'm really not tempted too. I actually don't ever want to see a classroom ever again. I must have shot this at least seven times, possibly eight adding todays shoot. And I'll probably shoot this at least another three times before I get the final image. 

I was planning on hiring lights for these shoots, I want to get the lighting perfect for them. I went today to Hot and Cold rental studio after seeing their website last night and found them to be closed which, to be honest dampened my whole day. Everything seem to go downhill from there, well in my eyes at least. I've been pessimistic these days which isn't very me, if it wasn't for Hazem and Altamash who are holding my hand at the moment I would've just gone home and stayed home.

Either way, tomorrows plan according the napkin says that I need to go check out Hot and Cold studios again, get some prices and check availability. 

Cheers! X

Losing the Diptych

My idea was to create photographs with diptychs in them. 

I thought I'd experiment a little and see if they would work better without them..

These are some *rough drafts

I like the garden.. I'm not quite sure if it's the right garden.

Directions speak louder than words

Alice came to a fork in the road.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

Multi-tasking?

So, here I am..
I'm currently multi-tasking. I'm writing an entry in my blog, doing a SWOT analysis on myself (for a class that I feel is completely pointless), thinking about my Senior Project... project and trying to figure why one side of keyboard is slightly raised in comparison to the other side. So far I've managed to write a completely useless paragraph in my blog, found out that I seem to have more weaknesses than strengths and confirmed the fact that I actually don't know how to multi-task very well. I've also come to the conclusion that I use one side of the keyboard much more than the other (I need to start typing with more words that contain the letters L, K, J, M, P and various other symbols).

But I digress...


My Senior project is a series of photographs that discuss the feeling of Depersonalization. I'm creating diptychs (within a frame) that show both the body (which appears to stripped of life) doing a normal daily tasks and the mind in the form of a transparent body (or bodies) that is interacting with it’s surroundings, trying to reconnect with or build it’s own reality. I've shot a couple of times and have found the "mind" seems to just be hanging around, doing mindless things (mind the pun, however good it may be). The figure that represents the mind, needs more direction.
I have to put myself in that position again. When my mind drifts off, where exactly is it going? What is it doing?
Besides that I've been thinking of location. Should I be sticking to indoor where I have more control of the environment, or should I be shooting on location? I was thinking of taking this to the park, or the beach where the figures may have more things to interact with. Although I like the whole clinical, clean feel I get with indoor controlled shoots, I don't want to limit myself to just that quite yet. I need to experiment.

I'm shooting tomorrow night, so wish me luck. I might be back on later on ranting about how much I hate UNV301.

Cheers! X

(dē-pûr'sə-nə-lĭ-zā'shən)

- An alteration in the perception or experience of the self so that the feelings of one's own reality is temporarily lost; a sense of unreality.

- Inability of a particular person to find his true identity.

I would sometimes find myself losing my train of thoughts. At one-moment things make sense; at the next I’ve entered a realm of total confusion. I no longer know where I am, who I’m with, and what I’m doing there. I can’t quite even remember who I am or if I really exist. My body and mind separate completely into two different entities that both don’t exist. It happens frequently and quickly. I live in a dream that mimics reality where thirty seconds lasts for hours, where you constantly have to remind yourself that you’re actually there, you are actually real, and where the last five months didn’t exist.

Entre

"I find myself regarding existence as though from beyond the tomb, from another world; all is strange to me; I am, as it were, outside my own body and individuality; I am depersonalized, detached, cut adrift. Is this madness?”
Henri Frédéric Amiel